Going Down to Meet the Doberman
Nov 26, 2015
1. The Poor Turkey gets Dizzy
I’m
feeling that I have far too much in common with that poor old
Thanksgiving turkey. Renata shows me an impression of a 19th
century painting depicting a Mandan brave, who's dangling from a tree
by skewers implanted in slits in his breast.
He
must get awfully dizzy -- and perhaps through that dizziness he shall
discern a cosmic vision. Is this how the Mandan unchained themselves
from bondage to that overly familiar acquaintance, the old Sadistic
Spirit?
Perhaps
this is the real riddle of the Sphinx. I'm dominated and in pain, but
I've
chosen my dominatrix. She's capable of offering clues
which impart to my pain an intellectual redemption.
She
teases me and tortures me -- I'm half slave and half free.
“Now,”
smiles Renata with triumph, “you are beginning to suffer in
sympathy with the victims of those Dark Forces which are perverting
the soul of the land. When we are not upset by the pain of another,
whatever we have left of democracy shall be in jeopardy.”
I
now am beginning to feel an apprehension of the meaning of
Huitzuilopoctli. It isn't the Lord of the Sky that is cruel, but
rather the heart that's within us.
“It
is our narcissism that betrays us,” Thieu intimates to me. “We
want to believe that narcissism will simply wither away, if only the
narcissist is given enough love and affection. But often this is not
the case; it is often the case instead, that rather than being led
out of his self-centered state, the narcissist will simply develop an
addiction which sustains his narcissistic condition.”
“I
learned enough about that from Dr. Payne to last me for this lifetime
and a couple of lifetimes more,” Renata genuflects. “When the
machista devil does find himself loved, he finds himself compelled to
express his imaginary heroism in absurd ways. He is likely to see
himself as Robin Hood, but instead of really taking thought for how
he can be most effective in helping the poor, his narcissism shall
drive him to dueling with the local sheriff.”
2. What Anubis Hath Sniffed
- “Our problem,” laments Su Dae, “is that not only Dr. Payne, but most of the men around us have already sold their souls off to the Devil.”
- “If,” introjects Renata, “we understand the Devil as a sadistic spirit of cultural and sexual chauvinism, then all of them certainly have. The pay-off is that the Devil will allow you to go on being a narcissist for the rest of your life, so long as you are faithful to your side of the bargain.”
- “We want to put the blame on the Devil, or on drugs, or on everyone else’s religion,” rebounds Su Dae, “but we do not see that the Devil is not different from the Narcissist within us, who wants to end the cycle of death and rebirth by crawling into a womb from which she shall never need to be be born. This is why, if we want to transform the world, we must put a little sugar on the wounds our sado-masochism has been inflicting. We have become cacti; we have become hard and cruel without, because we have endured too many times when it was only the pain of the flesh that gave us resolution to endure the pain of our broken hearts.
- “We have been angry with God because, it seems, that ever since we were old enough to take it we have been getting beaten up, and all too often we had not even done anything wrong. Because we were angry with God, we could only find our way through life by charting the sadism of the ecosystems about us. So in our kinkiness, it is important that we seduce each other into accepting, that God has the right to give us the kind of flogging that the Angel gave to Jacob. God flogs us, not only because we deserve it, but also because it is only when our backsides are feeling the pain of His flaming sword, that the Cherub can impart to us His secret wisdom.
- “Our hearts have been made kinky, so that we may be reminded that it is only when our awe and our fear of The Sacred that's within us has been aroused, that we shall have any chance to waken the sinners of Ninevah, because this time the Cherub With the Flaming Sword shall only relent, if he can see the great men of Ninevah dismounting from their high horses, striping off their proud cloaks, falling of their knees with their hind ends naked, and begging the women they have bruised to raise up their horsewhips and deal with them justly.”
- To make sure I appreciate her meaning, Su Dae takes up her horsewhip and gives me 3 vigorous stripes across my hindenbergs.
- "It is this narcissism,” proclaims Renata, “which lies at the heart of our so-called deathwish. When others disturb our desire to lie down and give up the struggle, we distance ourselves by accusing them of being Devils and Snakes. Nevertheless, if we wish to go beyond the world of those who have sold their souls, we’ve got to accept that, so long as we go about acting like proud serpents, sometimes the moral universe is going to need to beat us until we cry and whimper.”
- “In particular,” Su Dae addresses Thieu, “This man who is still whimpering and moaning is about to discover, that as soon as he starts messing with other women, you may just call on us, to give him the thrill that is felt by those who get beaten and bruised by the creatures they lust for.
- "To be alive and unfolding is to be aware of a universe which struggles in pain, as it endures the myriad transformations of dying and being born. The narcissist strives to reject this reality by imagining himself as the only hero.
- "But there is only one condition in which one is the solitary hero, and that is the condition of Hell. So now that we have conjured up a condition, let us look down into the Descending Gyre.”
