In Hell with the Easter Bunny & Isa
Good Friday, 2017
(sung to the tune
of Hark the Herald Angels Sing)
God is going to go
to Hell:
God is going to come
to Hell.
Behold Him plunging
from the skies
To sink before your
very eyes:
Watch Him descend into
the Briars!
The embattered
demons tell
That God is going to
reign in Hell.
Ananda is dressed as
the Easter Bunny, in preparation for the coming Easter.
“But Easter Sunday
is nothing compared to what happened on Friday,” the Easter Bunny
recounts. “Can you imagine – according to the Apostle’s Creed,
God actually got His arse whipped and had to spend 2 nights in Hell!”
“Until the Easter
Bunny hopped in to bring Him out?” asks Renata. “I thought that
that was Inanna’s myth.”
The Intelligence of a Virus
“The myth used to
belong to Inanna,” giggles Ananda. “But do not ignore the
influence of lateral genetic transfer, in
mythology as well as in biology. If a formula works well in one
system, it will find its way into another system that is trying to
survive on the same turf. As a result, after enough lateral
transfers, both myths will seem to be part of the same world, even
though one myth might be from Egypt and the other may have been
handed down from the Leprechauns who were the first humans to live in
the isles of Britain.”
“You would think,”
offers Thieu, “that people who are trying to promote the theory of
intelligent design in the universe would pay a little more attention
to lateral gene transfer. Basically, the same bacteria and viruses
that sometimes make us sick have another function. There are genetic
characteristics that make for an adaptation to the environment, and
they are encoded in transposable elements of the DNA, sometimes
called jumping genes.”
“That’s my
name,” giggles the Easter Bunny. “You may call me Jumping Jeanie.
I was Jesus when I hopped out of Hell and jumped up into heaven, but
long before that I was Evolution. Life on earth began when I started
hopping about among the molecules in a stagnant pond, and began
infecting them with the notion that it would be amusing for them to
begin to eat one another.”
“”Which was of
course, the Original Sin,” enjoins Renata. “But if molecules had
never got to the point that they tried to assert their dominance by
devouring each other, we would have never had the emergence of life.”
“A virus,”
reflects Thieu, “is basically a strand of DNA or RNA that is
encapsulated in a life supportsystem. It can’t
reproduce itself but it can use the metabolic engines in the host
cell to build copies of its DNA template. This enables it, in fact,
to mass-produce itself, when it finds the proper conditions. But it
is essentially a parasite, meaning that it cannot reproduce itself
outside of the metabolic machinery provided by a host cell.”
Genes that Jumped Out of a Lake
“No,” reflects
Renata, “but what if we envision virions originating in, say, a
lake or a mineral spring whose ecology develops in such a way
that the whole lake acts as a host cell? I am aware that one of the
major modern theories postulates that life developed in the vicinity
of the sulfureous vents of underwater volcanoes, which may very well
be – but I am using the metaphor of a lake so we can consider that
a relatively bounded ecosystem may begin to act like a living cell,
and that simple one celled organisms may begin to form as microcosms
of the larger lake.”
“Which brings us
back to me,” giggles the Easter Bunny. “In the beginning, each
jumping gene became a meme, and they all struggled for dominance
within the lake which they were infesting. The jumping genes begin to
link together, until they form the spiral stairways of the double
helix. Then the Double Helix becomes sufficiently dominant to draw
other proteins around it into a functional dynamic that becomes a
replica of the lake in microcosm.”
“Now that I am an
organism,” declares Renata, “I am going to build up my defenses.
I know that I cannot totally keep everything out of my boundaries,
but now that I have a Double Helix that works, I am going to keep it
concealed within my Sacred Cave of Vestal Virgins.Nothing shall be
allowed in the Cave but pure food and water, and no one shall be
allowed to approach except those who are consecrated to protecting
the purity of my chromosomes.”
“You forget,”
snickers Jumping Jeanie, “that I am able to hop in anywhere. How do
you think I was able to pick up this pair of your panties?”
“Because you are
sneaky,” Renata challenges her.
“Because I am able
to find and exploit the weaknesses in your program?” queries Jeanie
the EasterBunny. “Remember,
if I had not been doing my sneaky work, you would never have had the
process of evolution.”
“Just how much
intelligence do you think a virus can have?” asks Thieu.
She is looking on
dreamily while Su Dae pounces on Renata from behind and proceeds to
slide down the hem of her tights so that her shining hind end is laid
bare.
A Long Tradition of Sneaky
“What is it that
causes us to pity the sick and the dying?” asks Renata.
She is trying to
defend herself by changing the subject. Which is fine, except that
she is looking rather ridiculous because the Easter Bunny’s ears
have become two horns that are rising from Su Dae’s perverse little
head. Her slender hand has now pulled the hems of Renata’s tights,
and her panties as well, so low that they are almost down to her
knees.
Overly familiar as I
have become with Renata’s flesh, I find myself intrigued into
sexual receptivity by this little trick which has left her beaver
exposed for all to see.
You are just as
sick as I am,” Su Dae taunts Renata. “I don’t know about anyone
dying, but you know as well as I do, that after we are done with this
man who lusts for several women at a time, he is going to be in so much pain
that he will probably play sick and lie writhing in bed all day
tomorrow.”
“However I have
tried to ignore it,” blushes Renata, “this sickness that is
convulsing our nation has embedded itself in our own hearts as well.”
“Which is why we
must torment each other,” laments the Easter Bunny. “By whipping
each other in these unchaste ways, we are conditioning each other to
be the lovers who shall be cool in Hellfire when the whole world is
burning.”
“I have my fears
also,” reflects Thieu. “It looks like the body of the nation has
contracted a fever, and that one of the symptoms of this fever shall
be a civil war. If the virus were intelligent, there might be a real
possibility of mitigating the violence. But I fear that the only
evidence of intelligent design that has come into the picture is a
big Russian bear trap.”
“I agree,” sighs
Renata. “It does look like the Revolution is proceeding, right
according to schedule. None of the high
powered capitalists can see, because they all have their feet caught
in bear traps. The leading congressmen all have had bear currency in
their election funds, so they don’t want to see the light either.
This prolongs the darkness and, so long as there is darkness there
shall be little bears chewing on the foundations of The Republic.”
“I would have
suspected the Chinese,” shrugs Thieu. “After all – how was it
possible for the Khmer nation to fall from
her greatness in the 13th Century, to the state in which Louis
Napoleon’s agents found her languishing in the 19th ? Remember
that the Chinese have a long history of sneaky diplomacy. But I am
not so surprised to see the Russians are working with them. After all,
the Communists learn from each other, even if the leaders of the
Capitalist system refuse to learn anything.”
