The Easter Bunny on Saturday Morning

In Hell with the Easter Bunny & Isa

Good Friday, 2017

(sung to the tune of Hark the Herald Angels Sing)

God is going to go to Hell:

God is going to come to Hell.

Behold Him plunging from the skies

To sink before your very eyes:

Watch Him descend into the Briars!

The embattered demons tell

That God is going to reign in Hell.

Ananda is dressed as the Easter Bunny, in preparation for the coming Easter.

     “But Easter Sunday is nothing compared to what happened on Friday,” the Easter Bunny recounts. “Can you imagine – according to the Apostle’s Creed, God actually got His arse whipped and had to spend 2 nights in Hell!”

     “Until the Easter Bunny hopped in to bring Him out?” asks Renata. “I thought that that was Inanna’s myth.”

The Intelligence of a Virus 

“The myth used to belong to Inanna,” giggles Ananda. “But do not ignore the influence of lateral genetic transfer, in mythology as well as in biology. If a formula works well in one system, it will find its way into another system that is trying to survive on the same turf. As a result, after enough lateral transfers, both myths will seem to be part of the same world, even though one myth might be from Egypt and the other may have been handed down from the Leprechauns who were the first humans to live in the isles of Britain.”

     “You would think,” offers Thieu, “that people who are trying to promote the theory of intelligent design in the universe would pay a little more attention to lateral gene transfer. Basically, the same bacteria and viruses that sometimes make us sick have another function. There are genetic characteristics that make for an adaptation to the environment, and they are encoded in transposable elements of the DNA, sometimes called jumping genes.”

     “That’s my name,” giggles the Easter Bunny. “You may call me Jumping Jeanie. I was Jesus when I hopped out of Hell and jumped up into heaven, but long before that I was Evolution. Life on earth began when I started hopping about among the molecules in a stagnant pond, and began infecting them with the notion that it would be amusing for them to begin to eat one another.”

     “”Which was of course, the Original Sin,” enjoins Renata. “But if molecules had never got to the point that they tried to assert their dominance by devouring each other, we would have never had the emergence of life.”

     “A virus,” reflects Thieu, “is basically a strand of DNA or RNA that is encapsulated in a life supportsystem. It can’t reproduce itself but it can use the metabolic engines in the host cell to build copies of its DNA template. This enables it, in fact, to mass-produce itself, when it finds the proper conditions. But it is essentially a parasite, meaning that it cannot reproduce itself outside of the metabolic machinery provided by a host cell.”

Genes that Jumped Out of a Lake

“No,” reflects Renata, “but what if we envision virions originating in, say, a lake or a mineral spring whose ecology develops in such a way that the whole lake acts as a host cell? I am aware that one of the major modern theories postulates that life developed in the vicinity of the sulfureous vents of underwater  volcanoes, which may very well be – but I am using the metaphor of a lake so we can consider that a relatively bounded ecosystem may begin to act like a living cell, and that simple one celled organisms may begin to form as microcosms of the larger lake.”

     “Which brings us back to me,” giggles the Easter Bunny. “In the beginning, each jumping gene became a meme, and they all struggled for dominance within the lake which they were infesting. The jumping genes begin to link together, until they form the spiral stairways of the double helix. Then the Double Helix becomes sufficiently dominant to draw other proteins around it into a functional dynamic that becomes a replica of the lake in microcosm.”

     “Now that I am an organism,” declares Renata, “I am going to build up my defenses. I know that I cannot totally keep everything out of my boundaries, but now that I have a Double Helix that works, I am going to keep it concealed within my Sacred Cave of Vestal Virgins.Nothing shall be allowed in the Cave but pure food and water, and no one shall be allowed to approach except those who are consecrated to protecting the purity of my chromosomes.”

     “You forget,” snickers Jumping Jeanie, “that I am able to hop in anywhere. How do you think I was able to pick up this pair of your panties?”

     “Because you are sneaky,” Renata challenges her.

     “Because I am able to find and exploit the weaknesses in your program?” queries Jeanie the EasterBunny. “Remember, if I had not been doing my sneaky work, you would never have had the process of evolution.”

     “Just how much intelligence do you think a virus can have?” asks Thieu.

     She is looking on dreamily while Su Dae pounces on Renata from behind and proceeds to slide down the hem of her tights so that her shining hind end is laid bare.

A Long Tradition of Sneaky

“What is it that causes us to pity the sick and the dying?” asks Renata.

     She is trying to defend herself by changing the subject. Which is fine, except that she is looking rather ridiculous because the Easter Bunny’s ears have become two horns that are rising from Su Dae’s perverse little head. Her slender hand has now pulled the hems of Renata’s tights, and her panties as well, so low that they are almost down to her knees.

     Overly familiar as I have become with Renata’s flesh, I find myself intrigued into sexual receptivity by this little trick which has left her beaver exposed for all to see.

     You are just as sick as I am,” Su Dae taunts Renata. “I don’t know about anyone dying, but you know as well as I do, that after we are done with this man who lusts for several women at a time, he is going to be in so much pain that he will probably play sick and lie writhing in bed all day tomorrow.”

     “However I have tried to ignore it,” blushes Renata, “this sickness that is convulsing our nation has embedded itself in our own hearts as well.”

     “Which is why we must torment each other,” laments the Easter Bunny. “By whipping each other in these unchaste ways, we are conditioning each other to be the lovers who shall be cool in Hellfire when the whole world is burning.”

     “I have my fears also,” reflects Thieu. “It looks like the body of the nation has contracted a fever, and that one of the symptoms of this fever shall be a civil war. If the virus were intelligent, there might be a real possibility of mitigating the violence. But I fear that the only evidence of intelligent design that has come into the picture is a big Russian bear trap.”

     “I agree,” sighs Renata. “It does look like the Revolution is proceeding, right according to schedule. None of the high powered capitalists can see, because they all have their feet caught in bear traps. The leading congressmen all have had bear currency in their election funds, so they don’t want to see the light either. This prolongs the darkness and, so long as there is darkness there shall be little bears chewing on the foundations of The Republic.”

     “I would have suspected the Chinese,” shrugs Thieu. “After all – how was it possible for the Khmer nation to fall from her greatness in the 13th Century, to the state in which Louis Napoleon’s agents found her languishing in the 19th ? Remember that the Chinese have a long history of sneaky diplomacy. But I am not so surprised to see the Russians are working with them. After all, the Communists learn from each other, even if the leaders of the Capitalist system refuse to learn anything.”

And the Elders go Shaking their Heads

And the Elders go Shaking their Heads

April 28, 1997

In the kivas in the desert, as in the deep jungles far to the South, the elders shake their heads. They see the writing that’s inscribed in trails that are left by jet planes that are larger than a 40 paddle canoe. They see from the morals of the people, as well as from the policies of the public administrators in high office, that the time of the Stick Men has come once again. Once more, the hearts and their brains of men have turned to wood that is incapable of feeling. Once more, they have forgotten everything that the Creator tried to teach them.

Once more, the dominant culture has created a race of stick-people, who are no longer really alive, because they have lost all sense of gratitude towards their Creator. When they lost this capacity for being grateful for this opportunity to find out what a soul can accomplish, the Creative Spirit could no longer work through them, and entropy took full control.

When the leaders of the dominant culture lost their sense of gratitude for the fact that they had been brought into the world, they became cowardly creatures who sought to soothe their own wounds with self-pity. As we can tell from the depth to which the Dominant Culture has fallen, this fall has been going on for a long time.

The self-pity of their leaders convinces them that they are being crucified like Jesus.

Alas, since they are only images graven from wood, they cannot even walk, let alone fly – so each one of these national saviors falls into the blackberry patch, to wait for the Fox to come prowling.

This is the beginning, but it is not the end. For instance, the Vampire Bat and the Jaguar both have their creditor’s claims. The Vampire Bats feel that they are the only ones who should be allowed to survive by drinking the blood of others, and the Jaguars are offended by so many prophets who can predict the good of the market, but fail to warn the people about the end result when you trash the environment so badly that it begins to take up arms against you.

We have seen the beginning of the downfall of the Wooden Men, but we have not yet seen the end. These Wooden Men are so absorbed in their own self-pity, it does not occur to them that anyone else really suffers. The wisdom of the Buddha informs us that all existence has suffering at its core. Unfortunately, the Wooden Men are wise only in the ways of the marketplace, and blind as well as deaf to everything else. They do not even hear when their own women and children complain of abuse, so how could we expect them to care about the suffering of animal species who feel the desperation of impending extinction?

We don’t know if pots and pans and grinding stones literally have feelings, but we do know that even the mineral kingdom is being stressed out to the max by the ways that these Wooden Figures have of mass producing . Entropy itself is getting alarmed – this new cultural phenomenon which thinks it is wiser than its own Creator is beginning to push too many cosmological boundaries, and deflowering the virginity of too many fundamental constants. So the Stick Men shall arouse so many angry reactions from suffering nature, that the forces of nature shall finally join together to annihilate them, except for a few who shall escape to the trees, and whom we shall laugh at, because they have been turned into monkeys.

For the rest of us, we need to gather the strength to be thankful to our Creator, even when the world becomes absurd. For us, the dawn is nigh; we stand on the shoulders of those who gave their lives so that we should be able to survive, and to witness, that just as 26.000 years ago, prophesy is being fulfilled again. The Cycle of the Wooden Men, those men who would do anything in order to survive and leave offspring, is rapidly approaching its end. The Dawn now comes – the morning when the Creator shall recognize those who were still grateful to their Creator, even in the winter, when the darkness still ruled the land.